The Broken Hearted
by Twilightaddict2094
Summary: After six months, Edward's Back! But why is Bella so scared? When she sees him, she acts terrified. Will Edward and Bella be together again, or will other emotions tear them apart.
1. How I missed you

1**Hey guys, **

**I know I said I was going to do a new moon story next but this I dea hit me and I hat to write it.**

**I am still doing the new moon story.**

**I don't own twilight.**

**Edward's point of view.**

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Normally I don't read Alice's mind just to see her visions but I instantly regretted never watching them. The girl in this vision was so far beyond pretty. She put any vampire to shame. Just her presence alone proved she was more than amazing. The sight of her made angles beg for her to linger in their presence.

She was standing in the meadow. My meadow. I had gone to this meadow when I felt the need to escape. It had always been a glorious place but it could never compare to the girl's beauty. I would be lying to myself if I said that she didn't belong in te meadow. She seemed to fit perfectly. If I were human, this would have seemed like a dream. Her long mahogany curls cascaded down her back The sun graced her cheeks as she smiled at me. Her smile warmed my dead un beating heart.

A laugh escaped her soft pink lips. That laugh was a symphony to my ears. It was the most beautiful noise next to her voice. "I love you." She whispered. Who ever she loved was a very lucky man. I'm positive every other man's heart broke at her words. I know mine did. I felt the pain rip my chest apart as I realized that she loved some one and it wasn't...me. The white fitting dress she wore swayed in the light wind as her hair dwindled "Don't be sad." she crooned. She was so kind and loving.

She proved that angels existed in this world. Her kind heart, her personality, her...beauty. They all proved that she was an Angel. But then the vision changed. The angel had collapsed to her knees on the ground and was weeping. I felt a stab of pain as I watched this. No. Please, she couldn't cry. She was an angel. She didn't deserve to cry. I wanted the death of the person who made gods gift weep.

And then the vision ended and I was brought back to reality. It had been six months since I last saw her and now Alice gets this vision and it's like the hole in my chest has been filled. I gasped as I yearned for Bella. "Alice," I said. "When. When will I get to see her again?" Alice smiled and came to stand beside me. "Soon. I promise." Alice said as she pointed to the Angel from the vision. I stared at the beautiful girl as she walked toward the office. I realized that I wasn't breathing. At all. She was so gorgeous that she literally took my breath away.

"What did your vision mean?" I hunted for answers. I wanted it to mean that Bella would be mine again. That I would be the one to hold her again. I wanted to claim her. I was jealous just to have the other guys look at her as she walked to the office. "I can't tell you. I want to. I really do. But I have to let Fate play out." She smiled at me. I was shocked. But I'm a monster and she's an angel. She deserves better. Why me? Not that I'm complaining. But why would she ever choose me?

Alice pulled my arm and dragged me to my first class. I was pretty useless lingering my lessons. My mind lingered on the thoughts of her. How her long curls flowed like a river down her back. The way her teeth pressed into her soft pink lips. The shade of her cheeks when she blushed. I could feel my dead heart swell as I thought of the vision from earlier this morning as I walked through the lunch line. _Wow, she's hot. Just be cool mike. Deep breath..._ Mike newton thought as he walked toward Bella. They were both walking to their table. "Hi, Mike." She smiled and her cheeks flushed with a delightful red. "How are you doing?" He asked. She looked at him perplexed.

"What do you mean?" She said faintly. Her voice was alluring. _She's really hot!_ Mike thought. I wanted to rip Mike to shreds. How dare he be so oblivious to this girl appearance. She wasn't _hot._ She was beautiful. More than beautiful, If I was being honest. She was heading this way. Should I smile? Talk to her? But as she walked, she tripped lightly and into my arms. Her scent was appallingly luscious. I could feel my throat ignite in the burning fire but I could care less for I was holding an Angel. I looked down into her big, amazingly mesmerizing, brown eyes.

Her breath shook and her heart beat became randomized. Was she scared?. Probably mad if anything. After all, I had been a complete idiot when I left and I had promised to stay away and never come back. But here I was. "Bella." I breathed. Her soft pink lips trembled as she spoke. "I-I'm so sorry." What was she sorry for? She shouldn't be apologizing. _I_ should be apologizing. "It's fine." I whispered. She struggled in my arms and push against my chest. Then she picked up her books and left.

The hole in my chest ached as I watched her leave me...


	2. Time doesn't heel all wounds!

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**Bella's point of view.**

It had been six months and I thought I was doing okay for someone who had their heart broken seven times. Not just once but seven times. It killed me when _they_ left. Each of _them_ broke my heart. And every day it gets harder to breath or even _act_ human. _He _said that time heals all wounds. That was a lie. Time doesn't heal the wounds. It rips them farther open until you hurt so bad that you can barely move. Time make's it all worse!

Normally I don't pay attention to the world around me. But today something was different. People were acting strange. Girls were always smiling. Boys were acting Jealous. What was going on? I looked up from my books as I entered the cafeteria. Mike walked up to me. Ever since _he_ left, Mike has been relentlessly trying to capture my attention. "Hi, Mike." I said as I forsced a smile. My cheeks grew red and hot in anger. "How are you doing?" I looked up into his eyes and saw that he was scared. "What do you mean?" And just the I smacked into someone.

I closed my eyes, waiting for my face to meet the ground but I realized I was still standing. Barely. I slowly opened y eyes and held back a gasp. I was staring into the eyes of _Him_. I could feel my heart beat against the barrier of my chest. His expression was straight. He showed no emotion. He was probably angry for me bumping into him. I could feel my lips tremble as I said, "I-I'm so sorry." I was terrified that he would be mad. His eyes played with my heart as the smoldered. "It's fine." His perfect voice muttered.

I grabbed my books and left the cafeteria. What was wrong with me? Why was so stupid. I should really watch where- Stop! I wasn't the guilty one. He was! He had promised not to come back. What was he doing here? Was he trying to kill me? I could feel the tears burn my cheeks as the slid down my skin. I pressed my head against the steering wheel and tried to breath.

I was in complete fear for what would happen today in Biology. I was going to have to sit right next to him and control myself from touching his all to perfect face. This was going to be extremely difficult. I looked at my watch. I had ten more minutes until Biology. I could do this. I was strong...Not. I was weak and fragile. And he was strong and gorgeous and brave and...

I brushed away my tears as I prepared myself for the self destruction I would get when I entered that room. I knew I would either break down crying or start screaming. No. I was going to control myself. No matter how angry I am, I was going to control myself. My anger was nothing compared to the love I felt for him. So much more love than he ever had for me.

Minutes passed and I walked to Biology. I was really nervous. My stomach was in knots and my chest was aching. I just kept think about how I was in his arms for a few brief moments before I pushed away and ran. I was so stupid.

I took a deep breath before entering the room. The hole in my chest tore a little more when I saw his perfect face.

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	3. my best friends shoulder

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**Edward's point of view.**

Her scent lingered in the air around me. I kept looking at her from the corner of my eyes. She had her head down and her hair was covering my view of her face. I wanted so badly to brush the mahogany fountain over her shoulder so I could expose those gorgeous brown eyes. But I knew that would only scare her. I was still think about this morning when I caught her. Her expression was so rare. She looked terrified to see that it was me who had caught hurt.

We were suppose to be doing the lab together but I didn't want to push her into talking to me. So I did my work and she did hers. I kept thinking about what I would say if I were to talk to her. There was so much that needed to be said. Like how much I was sorry. How much I needed her. How she haunt al my thoughts...in a good way. Very good way. And how much I love her. But I knew that would be to much to tell her. I didn't want to scare her even more.

I never wanted to scare her. But apparently I did. I would figure out what I had done. I would fix it. Make it better. If she wanted me to, that is. I wasn't going to do anything that she didn't want me to do. I wanted her to take me back. So I would do what ever I needed to. Right now, It was killing me not to fall to my knees and beg for her. That would only embarrass her. And I didn't want that. I wanted her happiness. I wanted her to smile. I wanted to hear that symphony of a laugh. But I wanted her in my arms the most.

Just to brush my hand against her warm soft skin. To touch her pink lips. I clenched my fists so that I wouldn't do something stupid. The love of my existence was right next to me. Less than a inch away and I couldn't even get up the courage to look at her completely. I could feel her warmth creep up my arm and send a shock through out my whole body. She was an amazing creature. That was for sure. My angel. Well, not yet but soon to be. I would win her back. She would e mine again.

_Ugh! I could just beat him to death. I hate it! I was so close to actually getting up the nerve to ask her out again and then he shows up! _Mike thought. I felt a growl build in my chest but I held it back. I was going to end up killing Newton. Would anyone really miss him? I took a deep breath and held it. I had to control my anger. What if Bella did want him? What would I do if she didn't want me anymore and excepted Mike's offer? I suddenly felt the jealousy flare inside me.

I wouldn't kill him because it would hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her.

""Isabella? Are you alright?" My eyes shot to Mr. Banner who was standing behind Bella with a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. The worry shot through me. Was she sick? Bella shook her head as a no and Mr. Banner nodded. He went to his desk and started writing a note. Bella started gathering her things until her eyes caught me staring at her. Hey chocolate eyes were piercing into mine and I couldn't breath. She was crying. The tears were falling down her red cheeks. No. She shouldn't cry.

She shook her head lightly and slammed her book shut . Mr. Banner handed her the note and she left. Suddenly the seat next to me felt very vacant...

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	4. Bella's tear's, you idiot!

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**Alice's point of view.**

I wasn't sure what I was seeing. It was all very disoriented at first. I could barely could make out anything. I could tell that there were two people. I couldn't see their faces. One was a boy and one was a girl. They were standing in the parking lot of Forks High School. What were they doing? It looked like the girl was very distraught. And then finally the vision cleared up like high definition. I could tell who these two people were. One was a Very distraught Bella and the other was a shocked Edward. Bella was in tears as she spoke. I was completely blown away by what she was telling him. Apparently he was, too.

He had hurt her so much and all she did was love him. I could see it in the vision. She confessed all of her worries and pain to him and he sunk with a new expression. He looked...sad? She stopped talking and looked away from him. There was nothing but pure silence between the two for what seemed like two minutes and then Bella shook her head and turned to get into her truck. But Edward grabbed her arm before she could leave.

He was pleading with her. Trying to make her see his side of the story. To make her understand that she had it all wrong. But she just rejected staying any longer. I couldn't blame her. She seemed so depressed. Like she was done. Altogether. There was this look on her face like she didn't see why she was still alive. Like she didn't understand why she was still here.

I gasped as the vision faded out and the real world came back to me. I was aware of someone trying to talk to me but I wasn't listening. "Alice. Alice, honey?" Jasper's smooth voice pulled me from my thoughts. "What was your vision of because I think Edward must have seen it." HE said as he pointed to Edward.

He was pacing back and forth by the Volvo. Then the pacing stopped and his eyes locked on mine. "Alice," He started. "What was that? Is she going to forgive me? What should I do?" He pleaded for an answer. An answer I didn't have. I took this as the perfect opportunity to mess with him. "Well, Edward. I would know if you would let me talk to her." He shook his head and gave me a furious look. And then it faded like he had actually considered what I was saying. I was liking how this was turning out.

"I...I don't know. I'm just worried about her. As much as I want to talk to her, I'm afraid she wont listen." He whispered to himself. He picked up with the pacing again. That was getting really annoying. "I don't care, Alice." He said angrily. I guess he heard that. Then stop worrying and let me talk to her, I thought. He looked at me and then his head dropped in defeat.

**Bella's point of view.**

I had my arms tucked around my legs, it was the only thing from keeping me fall apart. I could feel the sobs coming but I held them back. I just let the tears fall. Only tears. "Why? Why did he leave me?" I whispered to myself. My head was resting on my knees as the tears continued to fall. I felt someone stroke my head. "I ask myself that everyday." A high pitched angels voice said.

I looked up and found Alice looking at me in worry. "I am so...so sorry Bella. Please forgive me. You're my best friend...please." She begged. I wiped my tears away and looked at her in confusion. What was I forgiving her for? Yes, she broke my heart too but I wasn't mad at _her_ for it. "Alice, Of course I forgive you. What could I every be angry at you for?" Before I could even finish, I was in a tight hug. Almost too tight but it felt nice to be held. She brushed my hair out of my face and looked at me. "Oh, Bella. What are we gonna do with you?" I just shrugged my shoulders.

She didn't say anything else. She just held me close and let me cry on her. I felt bad for ruining her shirt. "I understand now why he left." I whispered after a few more minutes of pure silence. Alice pulled back and took grip on my shoulders so that she could look at me. "What do you mean?" she prodded while brushing my tear from my eyes. I took and deep breath and said, "I wasn't good enough." She gasped in shock. "Why would you think that?" She nearly yelled. "He told me I wasn't good enough the day that he left." she looked at me in horror. I was instantly worried.

She pulled me into a tight hug and whispered "You are better than good enough." I just sobbed into her neck until she tucked me under my quilt before I drifted into sleep.

**Alice's point of view.**

I was baffled at the new information I had just received. I promised myself that I wouldn't get angry. That I would try and stay calm. But the words just kept coming back and I just kept getting angry. Edward had told Bella that she wasn't good enough. That didn't sound like something he would do. Not with out a good reason. What he done to my best friend? I ran through the forest until I made it home. Edward was waiting for me on the front porch.

"Are those tears on your shirt?" HE asked smelling the air. I nodded. "You wanna know who's tears?" I said in a harsh tone. He didn't answer me. "Bella's!" I yelled. His eye got wide and I could tell he was shocked. "Why was she crying?"Like he didn't know! That was the stupidest question I had heard him ask.!For a really smart guy with a high IQ he's really stupid. "Oh, I don't know. Someone told her that she wasn't good enough." I growled at him.

"She believed me?" He murmured to himself.

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	5. I just want to talk,okay I deserved that

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**Bella's point of View.**

My eyes burned and itched from my latest crying spell from last night. Of course that was nothing compare to the hole that was burning open in my chest. I really didn't want to get out of bed and fail at enduring another day at Forks but I knew I had to. I slowly eased out of the bed and went get a shower.

As the steam rose from the shower, I wiped the mist off the mirror to see how much damage the sobbing had done. I was pretty sure it was me looking back at me in the mirror. Only there were dark shadows under my eyes and the eyes themselves were red from the crying. I blinked a couple of times. Yep, they were definitely sore. I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out some eye drops. Once the drops were in, I could blink freely without the soreness holding me back.

I climbed in the shower and let the hot water sooth my aches. It felt really nice actually. I felt sense of serenity. I stuck my face under the warm waterfall and let my eyes be soothed by the drops lets. I took my sweet time in the shower. I must admit that this was actually quiet calming. But I jumped out when I realized that I was running a little behind.

I quickly brushed my hair and teeth and pulled on some clothes. Even though my stomach was growling in protest, I had to skip breakfast which made me a bit grouchy. I would have hurried to school if the truck would have went faster than fifty miles per hour. But I had to take it slow. Even going fifty made the truck knock and roar loudly. I patted the dash board. "Oh, Come one. I promise I'll have Jake take a look at you...sometime...if he ever speaks to me again. Please just make it to school!" I felt completely and utterly deranged talking to my truck but it had to be done.

I was suddenly conscious of a group of eyes staring at me. I really did try to keep my eyes away but I couldn't help it when I saw Alice smile at me. I slowly got out of the truck when I saw her wave for me to come over to them. Should I go over there? It would only be causing me heart break if I did and they didn't want me. I was about to doubt the very attractive invitation but then Alice waved for me to come to her again. I took a deep breath and shrugged to myself.

I was really nervous. My hungry stomach was now in knots. I swallowed hard against my tight throat when I saw...Edward. It hurt to even say his name. He was leaning his back against the door of the Volvo and his hands were in his pockets as he looked up at me with those hypnotic topaz eyes from underneath those long lashes. I quickly looked away so that I would crumble in front of him at least. I just kept the tears behind my lids and kept walking toward them.

"Your out fits really cute. Good job!" Alice said as she hugged me tightly. When she released me I looked down at my clothes to see what I had put on this morning. It was just a simple light blue blouse and dark denim jeans. Huh. "Bella," Rosalie's beautiful voice rang in my ears. "I heard you say the truck was acting funny. Do you mind if I take a look?" She was asking me if she could help me? I felt my jaw drop. I quickly smiled and said, "Uh...yeah...If you want. I would love that." She gave me a hug before she left to go look at the beast of a car.

I looked over to Emmett who was biting into his lip and smiling at the same time. He had his arms behind his back. He looked like he was about to explode. "Emmett, Are you alright?" He didn't answer. He just pulled me up off the ground and squeezed me close in his arms. "Bella! Bella! Bella! I missed having you around all the time! You were so funny. The way you would trip and fall! Hilarious! I missed my little sis!" I don't think he realized that I was not breathing.

"Emmett, I... missed you ...too...But,...I can't...breath" I gasped out. He suddenly stopped jumping and sat me down. He patted my head and brushed my shoulder off. I laughed and light punched him in the arm. "Sorry." He looked at me apologetically. I laughed and said, "It's okay. If it makes you feel better, I missed you a lot, too." A big grin spread across his face and he yelled "Hey Rose, Did you hear that? Bella missed me!" Rosalie looked up from the hood of my truck and shook her head and laughed.

I could tell that Jasper was being really quiet so I turned back around to look at him. HE just smiled and looked sad. "Jasper-" But I couldn't finish because he cut me off. "I am so sorry about you birthday... I mean...I" He trailed off. I just smiled at him. "Jasper, Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault. You may think that it was, but I know it wasn't. You're a good guy Jasper and I know you wouldn't do it on purpose." Alice mouthed the words "Thank you."

I knew Edward wasn't going to say anything so I started to leave. "Well, I guess I should go. I don't want to be a bother." I started to leave but Edward's soft amazing voice called for me. "Bella," I paused but I didn't turn around. "Will you please talk to me?" His whisper was as soft as a classical piano sound. I inhaled and thought about this. If I talked to him, I would only think about him more. "You did your talking six months ago." And then I left.

**Edward's point of view.**

"Well, I guess I'll go. I don't want to be a bother." She wasn't bothering me. I loved her company. She can't leave. I haven't even talked to her, yet. I was pushed off the door of the Volvo by a certain Pixie and toward Bella. "Bella," I called after her. She stopped walking but didn't turn around. I was right behind her when I said "Will you please talk to me?" That's all I wanted. And her of course.

"You did your talking six months ago." She whispered back. I deserved that. I truly did. I was the one who told her she wasn't good enough. That was a lie and a huge mistake and the stupidest thing I had ever done! So If she resented me, I couldn't be angry with her. I could never be angry with her. I felt a hard hand smack into my shoulder. "Sorry. Bro. She' ll around... I hope." Emmett tried. _Man, I hope things work out for them._ Emmett thought. I hope they do to.

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	6. just let me go

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**Bella's point of view.**

I never thought that I could hate Biology so much! Even thought the love of my life was sitting right next to me I still hated it. Why, you may ask? Because it was so darn hard not to look at him. I knew I should have let him talk to me this morning but I couldn't let myself go through that again.

It's very difficult to do a lab assignment with your partner when your not talking to you partner. Trust me. It gets awkward. I answered the questions before he could even get a chance to look through the microscope. He looked at me in confusion. "I'm done." I said, trying to clear up why I was just sitting there looking at the table. He quickly filled in his sheet and sat there, too. I was kind of wondering why he was staring at me, but I tried not to think about it. I could feel my cheeks getting hot and I knew they were probably bright red by now.

I tapped my finger against the table waiting for class to end. It seemed like it was taking forever! I stared at the clocked and soon enough, My finger was tapping with each second. This was my strategy to keep myself from looking into his beautiful eyes. I just tapped my finger and sighed as one minute passed. This was going to be a very, very long class. I heard his musical chuckle and I wanted to smile, I really did, but I was angry because he was laughing at me.

I looked at him and saw that he was smiling. His smile made me want to smile but instead I frowned. I was still mad. Why was he laughing at me? Was I really such an amusement?

I couldn't wait for the bell to ring. I grabbed my books and headed for the truck. I really didn't want to try to survive the rest of the day. There was no one in the parking lot for every one had went to their last class of the day. I thought I was doing pretty good with the escaping until I heard his musical voice. Crap. "Bella." I stopped dead in my tracks. I slowly turned around but I didn't dare look at his glorious face.

His hand came to rest on my cheek and I felt my heart pound against the barrier of my chest. "Please look at me...please." he pleaded. I looked up into those beautiful agonized eyes. I nearly fainted at the glimpse of his gorgeous face. His hand trailed from my cheek to my shoulder and then dropped. "Thank you." He whispered. I just nodded. I could already feel the tears building in my eyes.

"Bella, please tell me what's wrong." He wanted to know what was wrong. Ha. Like he didn't know. "What's wrong? I can't seemed to get to sleep at night because all I can think about is you! I can't go one minute of the day without thinking of you. My chest constantly feels like someone is stabbing me when I _do_ think of you! I try...so hard...to forget about you. But I can't...because...because I don't want to! I'm always thinking of why you left me. Why I wasn't good enough. How I can _never_ be good enough. Because I know that you need someone Smart...and strong...and beautiful. And I'm none of those things! And...I don't blame. If anything, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you wasted time on me. I'm so...sorry." I had broken down into tears.

I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm. "Just...let me leave Edward. Before you do...again." I whispered. The tears fell and I tried to stop them But I couldn't.

**Edward's point of view.**

"Just... let me leave Edward. Before you do...Again." Her words were like a knife. They cut right were it hurts the most. I dropped her arms and looked at her. What had I done to her? She had said that she had suffered so much. But I knew she wasn't suffering more than myself. I needed her to know that I was never leaving her. Not unless she wanted me to.

I know that _I_ didn't want to leave her. I guess I should have thought about that before I lied to her and told her that she wasn't good enough. Man, I was such a idiot! She was the best thing that I had ever have happen to me. And I just let her go! That easy! Just tell her you don't want her! I walked away from the most beautiful, smart, and kind girl in this world. And I had a feeling that I was going to pay for that. I wanted to pay for that. I would gladly suffer more for her.

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	7. I'll make you mine again

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**Bella's point of view.**

_The next morning._

I could have made it home if it weren't for the fact that I broke down on the side of the road. My truck was making a tinking noise and I couldn't figure out where the smoke was coming from. All I know is that when a car starts to smoke, you pull over. So now I was trapped on the side of the road. No way to call charlie. It was starting to get dark and I could barely see anything.

I squinted into the darkness when I saw a faint white spot walking toward me. My first instinct was freak out. And I did. I started to cry, Like I normally did. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. The only thing that came to mind was that Victoria had found me. "Chill, Bella." Alice's pixie like voice soothed my worries. I sighed in relief. "Sorry for not getting here earlier. I just got the vision." She smiled apologetically. "No, Problem. I'm just glad you're here and not-" But I didn't even finish the sentence before I saw Edward. I felt the fright take over. I knew that if he were to leave again...it may just kill me.

I could feel the hole in my chest burn on the edges as I saw his perfect face in the moonlight. I dropped my head and looked at the ground. This day just keeps getting Better. He came to stand in front of me and Rosalie went to checkout the truck. Edward puled off his jacket and tucked it around me. "I don't want you to get a cold." He smiled and kissed my forehead. Why did he care? "Why do you care. I just... don't understand." I was so confused.

**Edward's point of view.**

"Why do you care? I just...don't understand?"Her voice shook and as she whispered the words. She looked so terrified. She was still under the impression that I didn't care for her? _I'm all done here. The truck should work great. Oh...and Edward. Don't break her heart again." _Rosalie thought I nodded to her as she pulled Alice away and then they disappeared. I looked back at Bella who was staring up at me. The moonlight shown down on her face made her chocolate eyes melt into mine. I think I forgot to breath

When I looked back at Bella she looked frightened. Why? Did I scare her? "Bella?" I was starting to worry. What was she scared of? I could help. Or try at least. If only I knew what was harking on her and making her so frightened. I hated anything that could scare this beautiful little angel. "Why are you so scared?" I prodded for an answer.

**Bella's point of view.**

"I'm scared of...of you leaving. I scared of not being with you. I terrified to without you because it hurts so much. Too much. The pain is unreal and I don't want to go through that again. I mean... I knew you don't want me and ...I understand that. But Now that you're back...Even though were not together...I'm still and always will be terrified to lose you...again. And I don't want to experience that for the second time." She paused to take a deep breath and then she looked down.

"It's already hard enough seeing you everyday and knowing that your not mine and...I'm not yours. And that simple little fact is whats _killing_ me." I can't believe I was confessing all of this. I planned on just leaving after the truck was fixed but Edward wouldn't let me go.

Now I was here with the love of my life and he didn't understand why I was so terrified to lose him. It made complete sense to me though. Even though he wasn't _my_ Edward, I still didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to let go. And the truth is...I'm never going to be able to let go.

I pulled off the jacket and handed it to him. My hands lingered on his. I gently squeezed his hand and whispered, "I love you." And then the tears fell as I climbed in the truck and drove away.

**Edward's point of view.**

I was in complete shock at her words. Did she really believe that I wasn't hers. That was nonsense. I _was_ hers. Only hers. She had this tight, unbreakable and undenieable force on me. She would never be able to escape my love. Nor Would I ever be as stupid or willing to leave her. But did leave her. Only to keep her safe and protect her. And now I'm paying the price. I would do whatever it takes to make her mine again. And I _will_ do whatever it takes. I know she deserves better but I don't have the strength to leave her be.

She will always be mine and I plan on making sure of that. I had always pictured her as mine. But I could only hope- hope a lot- that she could possibly want to be my wife some day. And when she did take me back and when she did accept to be my wife I would spend everyday proving to her that I was hers. That she was never going to lose me.

Not to anyone or anything.

**Phew... I am so tired...**

**I'm trying to write two stories at one time.**

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**I love you all!**


	8. Anger get the best of me

1**I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's been three days since I last wrote and it killed me **

**to stay away from my computer!**

**Here's another chapter. I tried to make it longer because I love you!**

**I don't own twilight!**

**Bella's point of view.**

_One week later..._

Every breath, every blink of the eye, every movement. It hurt every time I did one of these things. It had been a week since the last time I spoke to Edward or he spoke to me. School was just one of the things that made my pain worse. I had to see him everyday. Walk the halls he once walked. Even if he wasn't around, just walking the same halls as he did had me in pain. And if that wasn't enough to break me, I had to watch every girl at Forks stare at him. To them he was on the rebound. He was single and the girls weren't oblivious to that fact.

Lauren Mallory was the worst of them all. She had a huge crush on Edward all this time and she hoped he returned the feeling. Did I know if he liked her back? No. But My heart ached whenever I thought about the mere possibility. I tried to forget about his possible feeling for her by thinking of that night. The night I was stranded on the side of the rode in the dark. How he didn't want me to get a cold. The way he wrapped his jacket around me. How his cold lips kissed my forehead.

I knew the real reason behind all the nice things he did that night. He was just a nice guy. He was being nice. I was his ex girl friend. Maybe he just didn't want anything bad to happen to me just because I was his _ex_. I could understand that. If he ever did love me maybe he still feels a little protective over me. Maybe he feels more like a friend towards me now. Guy friends kiss girls that are their friends on the foreheads, right? It was just a little kiss.

But even if it was little. Even if it meant nothing to him. It meant _everything_ to me. It was on my mind for the past week. And I could get it out of my head. I tried. Oh, trust me I tried. But everything I did reminded me of it. Every breath I drew reminded me of the breath I took that night. How his sweet scent fill my lungs. How it clung to me after I took his jacket off.

I remember that night all I could do was lay in bed thinking about him. I let his scent fill my lungs. I let it ruin my heart because for that moment I was happy. Happy to even have his scent close to me. It was enough to keep me from crying throughout the night. And it did. I didn't shed one tear that night. I just lay in bed as his scent broke my heart with every breath.

I was zoned out as I put my books in my locker and took out my books for my next class. A cool hand rest on my shoulder. I didn't get my hopes up that it was Edward. I could have been anyone. It had snowed and the weather was pretty chilly. Even my hands were frozen. But I did jump at the touch. It had awoken me from my thoughts. "Are you okay?" Alice's little voice asked. I shook my head no.

I turned around and leaned my back against the lockers. "Alice...I don't I don't know if I can do this any more. It's taking everything I have just to get up in the mornings and come to school. I mean, does heart break get any better?" I asked. My lip was quivering as I fought against my trying tears. They were not going to win. Not while I was in school. I refused to cry right now. Alice gave a hopeful smile as she stared off into space. "It _will_ get better. I promise." She said before she gave me a quick hug and skipped off. That was strange.

I was hoping that the school building would burn down so I could miss Biology. It was the class where I sat there inches away from him and thought about him. I walked through the cold wintry air and let the wind sting my cheeks. What ever happened to just plain rain? Why did it have to snow. The snow only reminded me of the day I was almost crushed to death by Tyler. That was the day I first had my speculations about Edward. The day he saved me.

I held my books closer to my chest hoping this movement would warm me. But I was put to disappointment when I was still shivering. I was glad to make it to the Biology room with out freezing to death. I bit into my bottom lip when it started to quiver. But once I opened the door to the Biology room, the warm air hit my face and it felt nice. My shaking body quit jerking as I walked to my seat. I dropped my books on the table and pulled my jacket off.

I tried to keep my eyes away from him as I did this. I didn't want the pain to start so early. I took my seat and did nothing else. I just sat there looking at the black board. Edward didn't say anything either. It had been like this the whole past week.

"Okay," Mr. Banner said as he entered the room. "We are doing a lab today but...I'm switching your partners. Just for today. You'll have your usual lab partner back after today." He finished with his smile. I groaned internally. But then I looked at the bright side. As much as I wanted to talk to Edward, I didn't have to do a lab with him and have the whole in my chest be ripped open.

I zoned out as Mr. Banner called the names of our temporary partners. "Cullen and...Mallory." My heart dropped as Mr. Banner called those two names. Edward and lauren. Crap. So much for trying to keep myself from hurting. The pain was back. And worse. I was paying more attention now. More focused. Mr. Banner walked closer to my desk an said "Swan you'll be with..." He rummaged through his list and looked brightly at a name. "Newton." He finished. I tried not to frown. Mike was okay but he was always asking me out in a nonchalant way.

I just nodded and forced a small smile. After Mr. Banner called our names, he handed out our assignment. "And once you and your partner are done, I'm teaming you and you'r partner up with another pair of partners for another lab. Yes, I know. Two labs in one day. It's to get you prepared for next year." ugh. Not only mike, but another pair of people. This was not my day.

Everyone split up into pairs and got to work. I took my seat next to Mike and he smiled. "So...What's up?" He asked as he handed me a sheet. I shook my head. "Nothing to terribly exciting. What about you?" I tried to make conversation. So far so good. He hadn't tried to ask me out yet. That was a good thing. Very good thing. I didn't want to hurt his feelings again by telling him another lie. Plus I was out of lies and I was horrible at fibbing.

The lab was pretty easy. Just simply identifying what was under the microscope and then classifying it under it's kingdom. "How are you holding up?" Mike asked. I was a little confused about his question. When I scrunched my eyebrows together he nodded towards Edward. Lauren was smiling and so was he. He was happy? Maybe he did like her. I took a deep breath and shrugged. I tried to make it look like I wasn't dying. "I don't...really know. Some days it's hard and others...It's just hard." I stopped before I could get any tears flowing.

Mike nodded as he looked into the microscope. He looked up and place his hand on the lab table. "Any guy would be crazy about you. You have everything that they want. Beauty. Brains. You're the real deal. And if you ask me, I haven't the slightest idea why Cullen ever gave you up." As I listened to his words I realized the difference. In Mike's world, I was just a human like him. A human who lived everyday eating, sleeping, talking to other humans. But in Edward's world, I was the human who was to weak, to fragile, and not beautiful enough.

I nodded to Mike. "Thanks, Mike. You're a good friend." I smiled at him and he smiled back. Maybe he had forgotten his little crush and decided to just be friends. We finished our assignment and Mr. Banner called the class to attention. "Okay, know we will pair you up with another group so you can do the next assignment."

I was busy writing my name on my sheet when Mr. Banner said, "Newton and Swan will be with Mallory and Cullen." I gulped. This can not be happening. Edward can be with Lauren just not in front of me. I want to stand up and scream no. but I controlled myself. This was going to suck majorly.

Edward and Lauren carried them each a chair over to our lab table. Edward sat across from Mike and I sat across from Lauren. Yay. This should be super fun! Not! Mike and I took our seats. It was pretty much quiet until the can of worms was opened. "So Bella. Are you dating anyone, yet?" Lauren asked. I could see the real meaning behind this question. She was trying to make me upset in front of everyone. Her eyes were narrow and a evil grin played at the corner of her lips.

I decided to stay calm instead ripping her head off. "No." I looked her in the eyes and smiled friendly. She took this as her next attack. I could almost guess what she was going to say next. "No one interested in you?" She asked. I wanted to laugh at her question. She was so irritating. I let one hard laugh release. My pencil snapped between my fingers and Edward's and Mike's eyes looked at me. "Here you go." Mike smiled as he handed me another pencil. I smiled and said "Thank you." Lauren just kept her eyes on me. Still waiting for my answer. "Well Lauren, I sure haven't seen you with anyone. No one interested in you too?" Mike asked.

And then that's when everything got bad...

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	9. Fighting in Biology

1**I'm on a roll right now.**

**Here's another chapter. I tried to make it longer because I love you!**

**I don't own twilight!**

**Bella's point of view.**

I disguised my laugh as a cough. "Aw, Mike's defending Bella. So you two are dating. You know, I thought after Edward dumped you, you wouldn't want to date anymore." Lauren recoiled. Her eyes narrowed like she had won. "You know what, Lauren?-'' I was about to say forget you when Mike jumped in. "Bella and I are friends. And even if we were dating I wouldn't just dump her because she didn't meet my standards." Mike growled. Edward's hand smacked onto the table. "Really? Is that what you think I did?" Edward kept his voice low but his tone was harsh.

"Well, we all can't be perfect. I guess you like the stupid blondes." Mike spit. After a second, Lauren figured out that it was directed towards her. "I rather be a stupid blonde than a pathetic brunette! Like Bella could even compare to me!" She yelled. That one hurt. The whole table went silent as all three of them looked at me. Even though she was saying all of this to make me mad, her words were true. I was never going to be able to compare to her. I wasn't good enough.

Every one in the room was looking at me. I was wondering why Mr. Banner hadn't said anything. I soon found out that he wasn't even in the room. "You're right, Lauren. I just hope you make him happy because apparently I wasn't good enough." I whispered roughly. The tears were trying to escape but I swallowed hard and let them dissolve.

"So you get a girl friend who treats your ex like that?" Mike almost shouted. "Do you really think I'm that much of a horrible person?" Edward yelled.

"Well you dumped Bella for Lauren. I think that pretty much covers it." Mike answered.

While Edward, Mike and Lauren fought I did my work. I was tired of hearing Edward stick up for her. It hurt to know that he once stuck up for me and that I was now the bad person. How did it get like this?

"Stop!" I yelled. They all three looked at me. Lauren's eyes filled with glory and hate. Edward just looked upset. And Mike was fuming. "Just...stop. Let's just get the assignment done so I never have to speak to them again." Edward shook his head angrily. "Bella-" He tried but I cut him off. "No Edward. I'll leave you and Lauren to yourselves. I'm so sorry you had to waste time with me just so you could realize that she's the one you want. I will _not_ compete with her."

I smack my paper onto the table and said, "There's the answers. I just did the assignment for you. Don't worry about them being wrong because they're not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get out of here."

I grabbed my bag and headed outside. "Bella, Wait!" Edward's voice called. I stopped dead in my tracks. But I didn't dare to look at him. "Please talk to me." He pleaded. I shook my head slowly, trying to clear my thought. I could feel the warm tears fall. I knew this was exactly what I didn't want. To look like I was some big cry baby. "What do you want me to say? That I'm happy for you? Because I am. As screwed up as It might sound...I truly am happy for you." My head was straight but my eyes were on the ground the entire time. "Lauren and I aren't together." He stated.

"So that's exactly why you sat back and did absolutely nothing to stop the situation?"

"What?" He asked.

"You defended her, Edward. It sure looked like you two were together." I whispered.

"I didn't defend her. I was mad a t Newton. I didn't say anything to help her case on purpose." He murmured.

I turned away but his arms captured me and held me to his chest. That's when I really started sobbing. "Just let me go. I'm...sick of the pain, Edward. Just let me go. It'll be easier" but instead of releasing me he held me closer. "No. I'm_ never _letting go. Ever." He whispered. I pushed against his chest and looked at him. "Why are you doing this to me? I wasn't good enough. You didn't want me. Remember? You don't love me anymore." Were my last words before I pulled away and climbed in the truck.

**Edward's point of view.**

Before she could leave, I pulled her close to me. My arm held her to my chest as my hand stroked her hair. She cried into my shoulder and I closed my eyes, wishing that all her pain would go away. That she was happy. "Just let me go. I'm...sick of the pain, Edward. Just let me go. It'll be easier" I pulled her closer and hugged her tighter. I cold feel her warmth climbing up my skin and I loved it. I missed her warmth and her smile. I missed everything about her. But most of all...I missed her.

She was under the impression that I was with Lauren. Ridiculous. I could never love Lauren. I could never love anyone besides Bella. What would it take to show her that. To show her that every breath I took was for her. That every day I existed was for her. I wasn't complete without her and she didn't realize that. "No. I'm_ never _letting go. Ever." I murmured into her ear. But she pushed me away and said "Why are you doing this to me? I wasn't good enough. You didn't want me. Remember? You don't love me anymore."

I felt my dead heart break in half. How could I not love her? And then that day in the forest came back to me.

_**Flashback.**_

___"You...don't want...me?" Her voice cut me like a knife. Why did I have to do this? I was lying just so she would have a happy life. Even if it made me hurt so much...I wanted her to have a happy normal life. And with me around...she couldn't have that. I shook my head. "No." I watched as the tears filled her eyes. Why did I have to hurt her? It's necessary. I fought with myself._

_I wanted so badly to drop to my knees and beg for her forgiveness. To tell her that I was lying and that I would do anything to make it up to her. But I couldn't. I had to do this. I love her so I should do this. For her. So she can have a life and not be ruined by me. I kissed her forehead. My lips lingered on her skin. Can I do this. Can I kiss her one last time and it not kill me?_

_"Goodbye, Bella." I whispered before I left._

_**End of Flashback.**_

__I could kick myself. That's why she thought she wasn't good enough. That I didn't want her. That I didn't love her. I had screwed up so bad. She was never going to take me back. I would be lucky to have her talk to me.

"Wow, I saw the vision but seeing it in person was hard to watch. Why did you do that to her, Edward?" Alice asked from behind me. She must have skipped class. "I didn't know, Alice. I didn't think that she would see me and Lauren that way. I mean, I don't like Lauren. I want Bella Back Alice." I looked down at the ground and thought about every thing that was said today.. "I just want her back." I whispered

"I know you do. But she doesn't see it like that. She thinks you don't love her. I mean, you did a lot to her the day we left. She's going to need time. Treat her like you love her. And....then she'll know." Alice whispered back. I smiled at her Idea. I knew exactly what to do. "I've got time."

I ran to the Volvo and took off.

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	10. saving Bella,one car at a time

1**Hey Guys,**

**Angie731, I am so thankful for your reviews, as I am for everyone else's. But your review really made me feel better about my writing. I cherish every word sent to me. Thank you so very much! Please keep reviewing.**

**Love,**

Twilightaddict2094

**I do not own twilight!**

**Review!**

**Bella's point of view.**

The next day at school was the hardest. I never imagined that I could feel so much pain just from our earlier conversation. _No. I'm never letting go. Ever. _It rang in my ears and sent shivers down my spine like the cold touch of his skin did. He said he was never letting go. Then why did he let go in the first place? Why did he leave me when he didn't want to let go? He didn't want to let go yet he left me for months without a single word. He had contradicted himself and I was the one paying for it. I was the one suffering for his vacillating.

I had always wondered how depression felt. If it was really like how people cut it out to be. I now know my answers. It was worse then anyone's description of the horrid illness. I thought I would be lucky enough to skip out on being depressed. But I was wrong. Everything hurts. Every sound brings back a vivid memory that replays itself constantly. Every thing seems to remind you of why you're depressed. It's not only your emotions that hurt but also your body. I had never experience depression until Edward left. And now that he's back, it's just increased.

And I know why it's gotten worse. Because I have to see him everyday. See his beautiful face and hear his alluring tone and look into those hypnotic eyes. And when this happens, I'm left with nothing but the thoughts of how I wasn't his and he wasn't mine. I had tried to fix myself. Tell myself that he wasn't coming back and that I should accept that and move on. But it's not so easy to move on when your first love left you. Especially when you knew he was the only one you would ever love and would ever _want_ to love. When you knew that you wanted him and no one else.

Why? Because he opened up this part of you that you thought never existed inside yourself. He makes you feel complete. He brings a smile to your lips. His voice makes you shiver. And when someone says his name you automatically scan the room to look for him because just the mention of his name gives you this feeling like you've waited too long and now the wait was finally over. Excitement. But more than anything....You can't stop loving him.

You can't make yourself forget about his voice or the way it makes you shiver. You can't erase the mental picture of his eyes. And you can't seem to get over the memory of that feeling you get when his name is mention. And most importantly...the hole in your chest aches for one thing. One need. One desire. And that's him. But my love for Edward could never be explained. It can never be put into words of how deep it is for him. How much I am attached to him. No, My love for him can only be seen. Shown to the people of the world what he means to me. But never described.

I took my seat in Biology and waited for class to begin. My heart thumped against my chest as I heard the Biology door open. I didn't have to look to know that it was him. It was like my heart knew when he entered the room. Could tell when he was close by. The cold air blew in rom behind him bringing me a quiver as I took a deep breath. I was concentrating on slowing my pulse knowing that he could surely hear it. Hear how it was raging behind my skin.

But every step he took, Every sound tapping noise that came as a reaction to his walk made my heart pound harder and harder. I swallowed hard when he actually sat next to me. His sweet scent fill my lungs as I breathed evenly. I could practically feel his cold arms around me. Of course this was just from memory because right now he was looking at the blackboard. "We have another lab today. You get you normal lab partners for this one, though." Mr. Banner said as he entered the room with boxes.

"Identifying mutation of DNA cells. Very easy assignment. We learned this last week so you should have no problem." He finished. We were supposed to write down our information on a sheet he was to give us. So I pulled out a pen and a scrape sheet of paper. The extra paper was for scribbling when the ink doesn't come out and I have to scratch at the paper with my pen until it shows something. Note to self: Get a better pen. Mr. Banner handed Edward two sheets of paper and me the box of slides. I pulled the slides out and Edward handed me my sheet.

While the other groups talked about things other than biology as they did their lab, Edward and I just did our work. "Am I being ignored?" His velvet voice asked in a innocent tone. I looked down at my work and took a deep breath. "No. I'm just doing my work." I answered nonchalantly. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him give me that look. The one that says I-can-tell-when-you're-lying-why-don't-you-just-tell-me-the-truth? Or the bull look. You know, when people give you the look that says that's bull. "Bella, I know good and well that you can't lie to save your life." He chuckled.

The sound of his laugh warmed my heart and made me want to scream. I finished the last slide and pushed my page slightly away from myself to show that I was done. He raised on eyebrow and asked, "Already done?" His body was turned towards me and he had his arm resting on the desk. He looked more like a god than a guy. I blinked trying to remember what he had just asked. I looked down at my work and nodded as I said, "Yes, I am."

"Perfect. Now you have no reason not to talk to me." HE smiled smugly. My head dropped as I let this register. Great. I really do have no reason _not_ to talk to him. I was sort of trapped actually. I couldn't just ignore im. One: Edward is very persistent and I'm sure he'll just keep asking me to talk to him. Two: I had no excuse to refuse him. Three: I wanted to hear his voice again. I huffed and looked up into his eyes. "Okay, Let's talk." I said. He smiled brightly down at me.

"Why are you ignoring me?" He asked. Why did he have to ask this question? I'm sure he'll find my answer ridiculous. I tried to gather my thoughts as I looked away and down at my hands that were intertwined with each other. "Because it's...easier." I tried. He apparently wasn't happy with that answer because he look confused. "How is it easier?" He prodded. Why was he doing this? "It's doesn't...hurt as much, okay?" I asked in a are you satisfied tone. He seemed to think about that for a minute and then he looked at me again. "Why does it hurt?" Oh my god! Did he really just ask that?

"You know, people say break ups are tough. But I never thought they were _that_ tough. But.._.our _break up nearly killed me. And time is suppose to heal all wounds but...it doesn't. It just gives all the memories time to pick and pick at you until you're forced to remember. You can never forget them. And all these memories scratch at your heart until there is nothing left. And...it hurts. The pain is more than you can ever imagine. And ignoring you....seems to keep the memories away just for a few minutes where I can breath without hurting. But it's only a few short minutes because somehow everything seems to remind me of you....." I couldn't believe I had just said that. But it was true.

"I think I might be the only other person here that understands what you mean..." He said in a dead tone. Like he was too into thought to even realize that he was talking. Like he was thinking it but it came out anyways. I looked up from my book and saw that he was staring at me. I quickly took my eyes off of him. "Why do you do that? Every time I look at you. You look away from me." He whispered the last sentence. I straightened up in my chair and looked at him. His eyes looked over my face. "I don't know. I just...I don't know." And now _I_ was the one to whisper my last sentence.

The bell rang and I grabbed my books and put them in my bag. I set my work on Mr. Banner's desk like everyone else. I felt my lip tremble as the cold air stung my cheeks. Why didn't I wear my jacket. I had forgotten it in the car. I felt a slight pressure on my shoulders. I looked down and saw that a grey coat was draped over me. I looked up in confusion into Edward's eyes. "It's freezing out here. I don't want you to be cold." He said as he pulled the coat around me some more just like the night My truck broke down. "And this time...I want you to keep it. And hopefully this will be a good memory." He said as he brush my hair behind my back and did his crooked smile that always made me want to gasp. And then I watched him walk away.

That night before I went to bed, I lay in my bed hold the jacket. I took on last sniff of it before I draped it over my rocking chair.

**Edward's point of view.**

I carefully slid the window open. I checked to make sure that she didn't wake when it screech. Well, at least I know that the window hasn't been opened in a while. That's a good thing. Once I was in the room, Her lilac and freesia scent hit me. My eyes closed on their own demand and I smiled to myself. I let her scent attack me and I welcomed it. I sighed as I took a deep breath. My throat burned but it had nothing against the pain I experience when I think about her. Think about her as not mine. "Edward." She mumbled. My eyes snapped open and I they ran over her sleeping figure.

She was laying flat on her back with one hand resting on her stomach as the other rest on the pillow beside her. Her long curls were flowing onto the pillow and her cheeks were a slight red. And then her soft pink lips parted and she said my name again. I gasped at the feeling in my chest. I felt...complete. Like nothing could ruin this happiness I was enjoying. I slowly stepped closer to the bed. My hand reached for her and I was afraid that if I were to touch her she would wake. But I kept stepping closer as my hand kept reaching for her. Once I was right beside I, I knelt to the ground and let my hand rest on her cheek.

Her skin was so soft and welcoming. Just the sight of her lips were beckoning me to kiss her. But I resisted. I knew that if I kissed her once, I would want to again. And I didn't want to wake her. I brushed my finger through her soft locks. I wished that I could be laying next to her. Holding her in my arms. Feeling her warmth radiating onto me. Smelling her luscious scent.

I sat there for hours just looking at her. I didn't even realize I was smiling until the corners of my lips turned down when I saw that the sun was coming up. I didn't want to leave but I knew that I would see her at school. It was still to long to wait to see her again. I kissed her on her head and my lips lingered there. It was hard to pull away.

I was about to step out of the window when I saw her rocking chair. The Jacket I had given her was draped over the back. I smiled to myself when I thought about her reaction when I gave it to her. She looked so confused. I could only hope that she would wear it again so that the other guys at school would take it as a warning from me. Stay away from her. She's mine. Well, technically not yet but soon she will be mine again.

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	11. I can explain

1**Hello peoples,**

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**Bella's point of view.**

The sound of rain hitting the ground woke me. I yawned and stretched in my bed. For the first time in months I had actually slept a full night with out waking up screaming. I felt a sense of pride over come me. But then I remembered the rain and groaned. I got up and walked to the window. It was actually starting to lighten up. I could see that the clouds were going from black to their normal grey quickly. My eye caught that the window was slightly opened. Did I open it? No. It hadn't been opened in months. That's odd.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and my thin dark blue sweater. I could see that the rain had stopped but my window was still cold so I grabbed the jacket off the back of my rocking chair and slid it on my arms. It was a little big seeing as Edward has huge muscles and I don't. I took a big whiff of the sleeve and smiled when his scent filled my nose. It was still there. It was strange how all these months I had been depressed and now I was sort of happy. I had actually smiled.

Once I was at school, I parked the truck and ran my fingers through my hair. The rain had made it a little moist. From a few spaces away from me, The Volvo was parked in it's same spot. Edward was pressed against the driver's side door looking at me. I quickly looked away and laughed as I remembered what he said yesterday about me taking my eyes off of him whenever he looked at me. Once I was at my locker, I took my books out and lined my other books up in the order of my first class. "Hey, Bella." Mike said as he walked past me. I just smiled.

"You should really get a body guard." Edward's soft voice said. I turned around and looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked. He smiled and put one hand against the lockers which left me no room to escape as he came closer. I'm sure he could hear my hammering heart by now. His face was so close to mine as he whispered, "I _mean,_ I can hear every guys thoughts and I'm shocked that none of them have pounced on you yet. You might need a bodyguard." He clarified as he brushed my hair over my shoulder like the day before.

"_Okay_, I'm positive that it's not me their thinking about." I said blushing. How could I be attractive to anyone here? I was just plain Bella. Nothing special about me. Edward's other hand pressed against the locker on the other side of me. No I was trapped completely as he leaned closer. "No, It's you their day dreaming about. But..." He trailed off as he came closer. I tried not to hyperventilate. "I'm sure if you just keep wearing the jacket they'll be to terrified to bother you." He finished. I was confused yet again. Why would a jacket scare people? "Why would they be terrified?" I asked feeling his cool breath on my face.

"Because _I_ gave you this jacket." I said before he pulled his hands away from the locker and smiled. I could feel the blush coming onto my cheeks. "I'll see in you in Biology." He called. I was blown away from his previous words that I barely heard him. I snapped out of my trance and shut my locker.

I spent most of my day trying to dissect what he must have meant this morning. _Because _I _gave you this jacket. _Was he implying that the other guys were scared of him and so they would stay away from because I was wearing his jacket? Or was the jacket like marking of territory? _Or_ was the jacket a warning label? A warning that said to stay away or face Edward. It was driving me insane not knowing what he had meant.

I peeled the jacket off and hung it on the back of my chair in Biology. Just as I was about to pull my chair out from underneath the desk, his cool hand caught mine and pulled it out for me. "Thank you." I said in a small voice as the blush spread over my cheeks. I was looking him in the eyes as he looked into mine. "My pleasure." he smiled. As I took my seat he said, "I have a question." I looked over at him and asked "Okay, what's your question?" He looked like he was upset about something. Like something was tormenting him. "Did you...date anyone while gone?" HE asked innocently. This was tough. I didn't want to sound like some unlovable loser but I answered his question. "No. I didn't date anyone."

The corner of his lis pulled up a little and he sighed in...relief? "But every guy in Forks is dying for you to even acknowledge their presence. Why didn't you?" HE asked. I really didn't want to say this but I knew I was going to say it anyways. I took a deep breath. "Because I was in love with someone else." I said in a soft voice. I was really hoping that he wouldn't realize that I was talking about him. It would be very embarrassing to know that he dated someone and I hadn't. What if he had dated someone? The hole in my chest started to ache. "I'm in love with someone, too." he said looking at me. The ache subsided but I didn't want to get my hopes up and then be put to shame when he_ was_ in love with someone else.

**Edward's point of view.**

"Because I was in love with someone else." Her soft voice murmured as she looked at the blackboard. Who was this someone else? Was it me? Could it be me? She said she hadn't dated anyone while I was gone. It had to be me. Or was I just being arrogant again. I would love to believe that Bella still loved me. I took in her appearance. Brown curls were flowing down her back and as ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm in love with someone, too." I could only hope that she would know that I was referring to her.

The rest of class was pretty boring. I took notes and kept looking at Bella. Every time she would move, I would want to move. Every breath she breathed made me smile. If she only knew how much I love her...

**Bella's point of view.**

I was so happy to have gym over with. We played tennis and I almost killed three people. One of them being Mike. I told coach clapp that I stunk at pretty much all sports and if kept making play that someone was going to get hurt. He quickly agreed when he saw that Mike had huge red mark on his arm from where the ball I hit grazed him.

I was searching through my bag for my keys. I should probably start putting them in a pocket in my bag so it will be easier to find them. I stepped out from underneath the port and someone's strong arms pulled me back just before a car went speeding by. If I would have kept walking it would have hit me. I gasped as I watched it drive off. Edward turned me around so that I was facing him, grabbed the two fistfuls of the stomach of his shirt and buried my face into his chest. My heart was racing from almost dying. I hadn't even realized that I was crying.

He held my head to his chest and pressed his hand into my back to pull me closer to him. "Shhh. It's okay. I've got you." He whispered. I clutched my hand tighter on his shirt and he kissed my hair. "I'm starting to reconsider the body guard." he joked. "You saved me?" I said astonished. He had been protective when we were together but I thought since we weren't together anymore he would feel the need to always be saving me. "Why?" I asked.

"Because if something were to ever happen to you...I would know what to do with myself. I exist for _you_. There would be no reason of life without you." his hand rest on my cheek and his finger touched my lips as he spoke. I wanted to let in and kiss him. I wanted to believe that he was sincere. But what if he left again. What if I bored him again and he left me? I wouldn't be able to live. I couldn't let myself hope. "I...I have to leave." I pulled away from him and this time I looked before I walked to the truck. The parking lot was empty. Including the Volvo.

"Bella. Please...Just listen to me. I have to tell you why I left. Please....you have to know!" He called. I opened the truck door and his long hand shut it. "You have to know..." He whispered.

**Cliff hanger! Sorry!**

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**I love you all!**


	12. so now you love me!

1**Here's another chapter!**

**I don't own twilight.**

**Bella's point of view.**

I really didn't want to stay here any longer. I was already mad at myself even staying this long. "What do I have to know Edward?" I asked him sarcastically. I turned around and got in the truck. All I could think about was him. Him and how he told me I had to know. What did I have to know? That he left me? I already knew that and I was suffering for it. I parked the truck in the drive way and Once I was locked inside my room....I let the tears fall.

But it wasn't long until Edward climbed through my window and saw my state. He brushed my tears away and said "You can't escape me." He smiled as he took my hand in his. "I miss this." He said referring to our hands. "But mostly...I miss you. I was an idiot. I hadn't thought about what it would do to you _or_ me for that matter. My leaving, I mean." He whispered the last part. There was something in his eyes. I could clearly see pain in his eyes and that hurt me. My hand rested on his cheek. "We all make mistakes." I tried.

"But none as stupid as mine." His voice carried the agony that was in his eyes. I wanted to take that pain away from Because I knew from experience how bad it hurts. To feel like you wont make it another day. He shook his head angrily and closed his eyes. He would have been pinching the bridge of his nose if he weren't hold my hand right now. "For a vampire...six months seems like nothing. It goes by very quickly. But for me...it was like each hour dragged along slowly. And I know why. Because every minute of every hour...I couldn't stop thinking about you. There was no doubt in my mind that I still loved you. I would _never_ stop loving you. But I knew why I had to leave..." HE trailed off. In that moment my heart felt perfect. Not broken or hurt but...perfect.

"What do you mean you know why you had to leave?" I asked. I was still amazed by his previous words and I was struck with the feeling in my heart that I knew would never go away. Did he really love me? Did he really think about me as I thought about him all those months of our separation. Did he feel incomplete and hurt as much as I did? "Bella, since the day you agreed to go with me to the meadow, I knew you were the only one I would ever want. And I was greedy and selfish to keep you as long as I did. See, I love you so much that I was ruining your life. I knew that you deserved someone better. Someone who can love you without hurting you and I knew that...I wasn't that guy. But I kept loving you. And I kept seeing you every day when I should have walked away so that you could have a normal life. And the day of your birthday....That's when I knew I had to do what was best for you. I knew, That if I loved you I should let you go so that you could have a better life. A longer life. A normal one... And when it came time to leave you that day in the forest...I couldn't make myself do it. I know I didn't want to. But I told myself that it was better this way. That I would suffer if it meant you could be happy and have a normal life with...someone else." HE cringed at his last words.

I was starting to see everything from his perspective or maybe I had been seeing ti from his perspective all along. I knew that I wasn't good enough for him and I wanted him to be happy. I would gladly suffer if it meant that he could be happy. So I thought I knew where he was coming from. "And now that I see we were both hurting while I was gone....I knew I should have never left. Because if I would have never left...I would have saved us both the hurt break and I would have never lost you. And now I'm paying for that every day. Do you know how torturous it is to watch the only person you have ever loved and ever will love walk past you every day? Or sit by you in Biology? It's really hard....and the whole time all I can do is look at you. Think about what you may be thinking about. Wonder how I was ever stupid enough to leave you.

"You're the very best part of my life. You're the only thing that matters to me anymore. And I wish I was good enough for you....human enough for you. And it kills me to know that I'm not. But Bella....if you ever thought _or _believed that you weren't good enough for me or that I don't love you....then don't. Because I love you more than anything. Words can not describe how much I love you. And no matter what happens...I will always love you." He put his hands on either side of the wall so I was pinned between him and the door.

My heart was racing as the new information filled my mind. He loved me just as I loved him. He wanted me just as I wanted him. "I'll go now." He murmured as he pushed away from the wall.

**Edward's point of view.**

I walked over to the window. I didn't want to leave. Ever. I wanted to stay. To hold her in my arms. But I knew better. I should leave her alone. If she didn't want me here then I should go. "Edward." She said just before I could pull open the window. My head whipped around and I looked her in the eyes. "Please don't go...I don't want to watch you leave again." She whispered. The tears ran down her cheeks and I swear I felt my heart swell. I was at her side in seconds. "You wont have to because I'm not going anywhere." I murmured. I sat down in the rocking chair and held her in my lap.

I spent hours like this. I held her closed and she leaned against me. The sun was starting to go down and Bella had fallen asleep in my arms. I held her bridal style as I pulled the covers back and eased her into the bed. "Don't leave..." She murmured in her sleep. I tucked the covers around her and whispered, "I'm not." I laid o the opposite side of her and pulled her into my arms. I smiled when I noticed that she still had on the jacket. I eased it off of her without waking her and threw it on to the rocking chair.

"Goodnight love." I said before I kissed her head and hummed her lullaby.

Bella stirred in my arms so I knew she would wake soon. She nestled her head into my arm and took a deep breath before opening her big brown eyes. I kissed her neck and she laughed. "That's better than an alarm clock." she said. I chuckled with her and held her for a while.

"I should let you get ready for school." I said as I climbed out of bed. She sat up and her lower lip pouted. I smiled and leaned down close to her ear. "You're adorable when you pout." I murmured. She blushed her brilliant red and I ran my hand over her soft cheek. Her eyes met mine and I got lost in the depths of those irises...

**Bella's point of view.**

I was glad he stayed but I didn't want him to leave. "You're adorable when you pout." He whispered. I looked away and blushed. His hand ran over my skin calling for me to look at him again. I met his topaz as and he inched closer. My heart was hammering from the close proximity. So lightly and delicately his lips met mine. It was the first kiss since he left. And I was happy it was this way.

He pulled away when he could tell that I was losing air and leaned his forehead against mine. "I should go." He said as he kept his eyes closed. I nodded sadly and he opened his eyes.

"I'll see you at school." He said before he turned to the window. I thought he would pull it open but instead he caught me by surprise when he turned around and kissed me again. His lips crashed against mine as he hugged me closer. And then he pulled away. "I love you." He said as he brushed my hair back. "I love you too." I whispered. I kissed his neck and he smiled before jumping out my window...

Today would be a good day.

'

**Please review!**

**I love you all!**


	13. not again!

**Hey guys.**

**Love you.**

**I can't write unless you keep reviewing!**

**I don't own twilight! Love you!**

**Bella' point of view.**

I pulled into the parking lot and sat there for a moment. I was letting everything that had happened in these past couple of months settle into my confuse little mind and mend my torn forgiven him even though there was nothing to forgive. But was I ready to be set up for pain if he left me again. The answer was no. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for that the first time. If he left me again…I don't think I would be able to survive it this time.

But he had promised not to leaveme ever again. And could I trust myself to trust him? I knew I could trust edward. He was pure and honest to the core. If anyone had a soul it was him. I had been doubting myself all this time. Wondering if I was good enough for him. If he thought that I was good enough for him. It tortuted me to the point of no sleep. Of course, edward staying with me at night helped put a rest to my worries. "How are we doing this morning, love?" Edward's velvet smooth voice rang in my ears. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I hadn't heard it in so long but now he was right next to me asking me how my morning was. "It's okay." I said in a matter-of-factly tone. It _was_ okay. Way better than the other mornings when I would wake up screaming.

He leaned closer to me and like everytime he got close to me, my heart started to pound in my chest. His hand brushed against my cheek and rest on my temple as he cradled my face. His eyes burned with a intensity of passion as he leaned closer and closer. Then, ever so lightly, he pressed his cool glass lips to mine and every worry, every thought seemed to fade away as his sweet breath filled my lungs. I hadn't really noticed that I was clutching his shirt until I elt my hand ache in pain from my massive grip. He pulled away and his heavy breathing matched mine. His eyes stared back into mine as he pulled his head away and brushed my hair back. "And how's your day going now?" he asked with a smile in his tone. I grinned and blushed as I said, "It's definatly looking up."

He chuckled softly as I unclutched my fist on his shirt and tried to smooth out the wrinkles. "Sorry about that.' I said before biting my lip.

**Edward's point of view.**

She was apologizing for wrinkling my shirt from one simple kiss! Absurd. If only she knew what I did. I had dented the roof of her car with my free hand as I kissed her. I would have to fix that later. "Come on, let's get you to class." I said. I took her hand and pulled her from her truck and shut the door with my foot as I wrapped my arm around her waist. Once my arm was where I wanted it to be, I felt more at ease like I always did when I had her in my arms. "Why are you so cheery this morning?" She pulled me from my thoughts and I looked down into her big brown eyes that always had my dead heart into a frenzy.

"I'm really happy to have you back in my arms." I smiled down at her and she returned it with a blush. Her soft cheeks flushing with a delicate pink. Rest my back against the lockers and watched as she collected her books. I got so wrapped up in her expressions and movemants. Like how she would grimace when she accidently catch her arm on the metal frame of the locker door. my clumsy little Bella. I really like the _my _part. _"Maybe they aren't back together. After all, he did leave her. Why would she want him back anyway. What does he have that I don't?!" _I didn't have to look up to know that those were Mike's thoughts.

"So…Bella…" He trailed off as she shut her locker door and turned to face him. He fidgetted and smiled nervously. _What now?_ He asked himself. I smiled at his nervousness. Bella didn't know the effect she had on people. Especially the male population, or me for that matter. "Yeah, Mike?" she brushed her hair over her shoulder. To her this was a simple move to be more comfortable but to me and every other human male on earth, it was like waving candy in front of a kid and snatching it away. _Wow, she's so hot. _My fist tightened into hard fist at his thoughts. I had forgotten that everyday I was fighting kepp her. Any guy could take her away from and I had to be on my toes. I wasn't going to lose her again.

"Um, you want to hang out this weekend?" he asked again with his nervous tone seeping in. I bit back a growl. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to my side. "Mike, Bella_ is _my girlfriend." I tightened my grip on her as I said this. Mike narrowed his eyes. _Ugh! Why? Why does she want him?!" _he thought. I asked myself that question everyday of my life. "Fine." He grumbled and stomped off. I growled as he retreated. He angered me so much! "Edward." Bella's soft tone melted the hatred that was emenating from me now as her hand rest on chest. I took a deep breath and looked down at her.

"Why are you so angry?" She asked. Her eye brows furrowed as she looked up at me. I crumbled under her gaze. "I was stupid. Stupid to leave you. Every guy is dying to be with you and _I_ had you. I had you as mine and I just…let you go. How did I get so lucky? I ruin both of our lives and you _still _want me back. I mean, you smart…funny…sensitive…warm…and…beautiful. Very beautiful and I don't see how you could ever want someone as horrible as me-" But I couldn't finish because she had placed her warm hand on my cheek.

"I love you. I don't think that's to difficult to understand." Her words made my heart ache. She always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her soft warm lips. Her scent making an entrance into my lungs and leaving me drowning in her amazing taste.

"I love you too." I whispered just before I kissed her neck.

**Bella's point of view.**

_**One week later.**_

__This past week has been the best days of my life. I had spent most of my afternoons at the Cullens where I would catch up with carlisle and Esme. Play with Emmett, and let Alice redo my wardrobe. Japser kept a safe distance but always talked to me and joke with me. Rosalie on the other hand was...nicer? She at least acknowledged my presence now.

I had just gotten a call from Alice a few minutes ago. She wanted me to come over and hang out so that she could discuss my hair and clothes for the next several hours. This was going to be torture. I parked the truck in the long driveway and headed for the door. I didn't have to knock because once I was on the door step Alice slung open the door and hugged me. "Come on, we have so much to do. Esme wants to see you, too!" She ranted as she drug me into the living room. Esme was sitting on the couch with a huge smile on her face. "Bella…Come here." She smiled vrightly as she rose from the couch and grasped me closer to herself.

"Oh, I missed you honey." She whispered to me. I hugged her back and relxed I her arms. "I missed you too, Esme." I said as I closed m y eyes. I felt at home. "I'm going to get ready." Alice said before running up the stairs. I laughed lightly and took a seat next to Esme on the couch. "Bella," she started. I looked into her eyes and found that sghe was either scared or worried. "I need to talk to you. Edward has been acting funny lately and…I wanted to know if you could find out for me. And I also know that if there is something wrong…you'll know how to fuix it more than I." She said as she grabbed my hand.

"Of course, Esme. Where is he/" I asked as my eyes searched the room.

"Upstairs, honey." She kissed my cheek and escaped to the kitchen.

I bothered me to know that something was bugging Edward. Normally he would have told me by now. What was going on. I slowly walked up the stairs, trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong. I stopped infront of his door and waited there for a second. I could hear a conversation taking place on the other side of the door. It was Alice and she sounded definatly angry. I waited until it was silent and Once I got up eough courage, I slowly opened the door and looked in. He was standing infront of his couch. There was a huge bag laying on the leather and he was folding and putting clothes in it. Alice looked up at me and anxiety broke her features. My heart automatically skipped several beats. "What's going on?" I said faintly.


	14. leaving is so hard

**Hey guys.**

**Love you.**

**I can't write unless you keep reviewing!**

**I don't own twilight! Love you!**

**Bella' point of view.**

I pulled into the parking lot and sat there for a moment. I was letting everything that had happened in these past couple of months settle into my confuse little mind and mend my torn forgiven him even though there was nothing to forgive. But was I ready to be set up for pain if he left me again. The answer was no. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for that the first time. If he left me again…I don't think I would be able to survive it this time.

But he had promised not to leaveme ever again. And could I trust myself to trust him? I knew I could trust edward. He was pure and honest to the core. If anyone had a soul it was him. I had been doubting myself all this time. Wondering if I was good enough for him. If he thought that I was good enough for him. It tortuted me to the point of no sleep. Of course, edward staying with me at night helped put a rest to my worries. "How are we doing this morning, love?" Edward's velvet smooth voice rang in my ears. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I hadn't heard it in so long but now he was right next to me asking me how my morning was. "It's okay." I said in a matter-of-factly tone. It _was_ okay. Way better than the other mornings when I would wake up screaming.

He leaned closer to me and like everytime he got close to me, my heart started to pound in my chest. His hand brushed against my cheek and rest on my temple as he cradled my face. His eyes burned with a intensity of passion as he leaned closer and closer. Then, ever so lightly, he pressed his cool glass lips to mine and every worry, every thought seemed to fade away as his sweet breath filled my lungs. I hadn't really noticed that I was clutching his shirt until I elt my hand ache in pain from my massive grip. He pulled away and his heavy breathing matched mine. His eyes stared back into mine as he pulled his head away and brushed my hair back. "And how's your day going now?" he asked with a smile in his tone. I grinned and blushed as I said, "It's definatly looking up."

He chuckled softly as I unclutched my fist on his shirt and tried to smooth out the wrinkles. "Sorry about that.' I said before biting my lip.

**Edward's point of view.**

She was apologizing for wrinkling my shirt from one simple kiss! Absurd. If only she knew what I did. I had dented the roof of her car with my free hand as I kissed her. I would have to fix that later. "Come on, let's get you to class." I said. I took her hand and pulled her from her truck and shut the door with my foot as I wrapped my arm around her waist. Once my arm was where I wanted it to be, I felt more at ease like I always did when I had her in my arms. "Why are you so cheery this morning?" She pulled me from my thoughts and I looked down into her big brown eyes that always had my dead heart into a frenzy.

"I'm really happy to have you back in my arms." I smiled down at her and she returned it with a blush. Her soft cheeks flushing with a delicate pink. Rest my back against the lockers and watched as she collected her books. I got so wrapped up in her expressions and movemants. Like how she would grimace when she accidently catch her arm on the metal frame of the locker door. my clumsy little Bella. I really like the _my _part. _"Maybe they aren't back together. After all, he did leave her. Why would she want him back anyway. What does he have that I don't?!" _I didn't have to look up to know that those were Mike's thoughts.

"So…Bella…" He trailed off as she shut her locker door and turned to face him. He fidgetted and smiled nervously. _What now?_ He asked himself. I smiled at his nervousness. Bella didn't know the effect she had on people. Especially the male population, or me for that matter. "Yeah, Mike?" she brushed her hair over her shoulder. To her this was a simple move to be more comfortable but to me and every other human male on earth, it was like waving candy in front of a kid and snatching it away. _Wow, she's so hot. _My fist tightened into hard fist at his thoughts. I had forgotten that everyday I was fighting kepp her. Any guy could take her away from and I had to be on my toes. I wasn't going to lose her again.

"Um, you want to hang out this weekend?" he asked again with his nervous tone seeping in. I bit back a growl. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to my side. "Mike, Bella_ is _my girlfriend." I tightened my grip on her as I said this. Mike narrowed his eyes. _Ugh! Why? Why does she want him?!" _he thought. I asked myself that question everyday of my life. "Fine." He grumbled and stomped off. I growled as he retreated. He angered me so much! "Edward." Bella's soft tone melted the hatred that was emenating from me now as her hand rest on chest. I took a deep breath and looked down at her.

"Why are you so angry?" She asked. Her eye brows furrowed as she looked up at me. I crumbled under her gaze. "I was stupid. Stupid to leave you. Every guy is dying to be with you and _I_ had you. I had you as mine and I just…let you go. How did I get so lucky? I ruin both of our lives and you _still _want me back. I mean, you smart…funny…sensitive…warm…and…beautiful. Very beautiful and I don't see how you could ever want someone as horrible as me-" But I couldn't finish because she had placed her warm hand on my cheek.

"I love you. I don't think that's to difficult to understand." Her words made my heart ache. She always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her soft warm lips. Her scent making an entrance into my lungs and leaving me drowning in her amazing taste.

"I love you too." I whispered just before I kissed her neck.

**Bella's point of view.**

_**One week later.**_

__This past week has been the best days of my life. I had spent most of my afternoons at the Cullens where I would catch up with carlisle and Esme. Play with Emmett, and let Alice redo my wardrobe. Japser kept a safe distance but always talked to me and joke with me. Rosalie on the other hand was...nicer? She at least acknowledged my presence now.

I had just gotten a call from Alice a few minutes ago. She wanted me to come over and hang out so that she could discuss my hair and clothes for the next several hours. This was going to be torture. I parked the truck in the long driveway and headed for the door. I didn't have to knock because once I was on the door step Alice slung open the door and hugged me. "Come on, we have so much to do. Esme wants to see you, too!" She ranted as she drug me into the living room. Esme was sitting on the couch with a huge smile on her face. "Bella…Come here." She smiled vrightly as she rose from the couch and grasped me closer to herself.

"Oh, I missed you honey." She whispered to me. I hugged her back and relxed I her arms. "I missed you too, Esme." I said as I closed m y eyes. I felt at home. "I'm going to get ready." Alice said before running up the stairs. I laughed lightly and took a seat next to Esme on the couch. "Bella," she started. I looked into her eyes and found that sghe was either scared or worried. "I need to talk to you. Edward has been acting funny lately and…I wanted to know if you could find out for me. And I also know that if there is something wrong…you'll know how to fuix it more than I." She said as she grabbed my hand.

"Of course, Esme. Where is he/" I asked as my eyes searched the room.

"Upstairs, honey." She kissed my cheek and escaped to the kitchen.

I bothered me to know that something was bugging Edward. Normally he would have told me by now. What was going on. I slowly walked up the stairs, trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong. I stopped infront of his door and waited there for a second. I could hear a conversation taking place on the other side of the door. It was Alice and she sounded definatly angry. I waited until it was silent and Once I got up eough courage, I slowly opened the door and looked in. He was standing infront of his couch. There was a huge bag laying on the leather and he was folding and putting clothes in it. Alice looked up at me and anxiety broke her features. My heart automatically skipped several beats. "What's going on?" I said faintly.


	15. good bye's and screaming

**Hey guys**

**Heres another chapter!**

**I cried my eyes out writing this one!**

**I can't keep writing without your reviews!**

**I love you**

**I don't own twilight.**

**Bella's point of view.**

Edward looked at Alice and then at the floor. Alice quickly fled the room and shut the door behind her. It was silent for a good minute or two and then the worry was killing me. "Edward?" I tried. He looked up at me from under his long lashes and said, "I'm leaving, Bella." My heart stopped then. Not this again. I swallowed hard and tried to make my voice louder than a whisper. "You have _got_ to be kidding me. How long have you known?"

"A couple of days."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I was waiting for the right time."

"I can't believe this is happening _again_." My voice broke on the last word and the tears swelled in my eyes. I looked down and shook my head lightly. I _was_ stupid enough to fall for it again. How could you be so naïve, Bella? My thoughts were screaming at me. I tried to keep from hyperventilating but it was extremely hard. The only thing I _was_ able to do was cry. Great. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to calm down but how could I be calm when the love of my life was leaving me? For the second time!

"Bella-" he tried but I cut him off.

"No, Edward. I knew this wasn't going to work. No matter how much I wanted it to. We're just two different people and you want different things."

"What do you mean two different people and that I want different things, Bella?" He asked confused and slightly angry. I wiped away some of the tears and more fell "I mean, I'm never going to be good enough. And if you want someone else than you can. I'm not going to tie you down. You…deserve someone better…and that's not me. And you made that clear the first time you left… but I was stupid enough to fall for it again." My last words were no more than a whisper. I couldn't get up the courage to look at him.

I knew that if I looked into those deep topaz eyes, I would get lost and never find my way back. So instead of becoming dumb founded in his presence, I turned around and left. "Bella!" He called but I didn't stop walking. I wasn't going to let him tell me why he doesn't love me anymore or why he was running away from me. Before I could reach the front door, Alice was pressed against it. "Alice!" I complained. But she picked me up into her arms and ran me to her room. Within seconds everyone else was in the room with us.

"She should be crossing the line any minute now." Alice whispered as she stared into the air.

"Who? What is going on?" I asked. They all looked down at me with worried eyes. It was completely silent for two minutes straight and I would know seeing that I was now counting the seconds. Carlisle cleared his throat and looked at me unlike the others who were now looking at each other. "leraunt. He's planning an attack…on you." My heart stopped. Leraunt wanted me? Me?

And then it hit me. Why were they so worried? It's not like he's after them. It's me.

"Why are you all worried. It's me he wants. You have nothing to worry about." I tried. They were fine me on the other hand, well, I was preparing myself for death. I pulled myself from the bed and walked to the closed and locked bedroom door. They all stared me down as I unlocked it and rest my hand on the knob. "Bella, are you insane?" Edward nearly growled. I looked over my shoulder at them. They had their eyes wide and their mouths wide open.

"No. Just realizing that it's never going to end until she gets what she wants. And that's me." I whispered as I pulled the door open. "Bella, you can't be serious." Emmett said in a sad tone.

"I am." I said before pulling open the door and exiting the house.

**Alice's point of view.**

Bella just left the room and all Edward can do is watch her leave. I walked over to him and smacked is arm as hard as I could. I wished he could have felt that. He looked at me in confusion and I smacked his arm again. "Are you stupid! Don't just stand there! She's my sister you moron. I don't care what your deal is with girls but you're not going to let her die just because you're going after other girls! Idiot!" I yelled before running down the stairs. The rest followed behind me.

Emmett slung open the front door and bursted outside. We all froze when we saw the scene in front of us. Bella standing in front of Leraunt. Leraunt was licking his lips as he smelled the air around Bella. "Isabella, you smell oh so delightful." He murmured as he stepped closer to her. His hand ran down her back as the other pushed her hair from her neck as he pressed his nose against her skin and sniffed it. Edward, Carlisle, and Esme all growled at this. Bella cringed and Leraunt let go. "It's just a shame that I'm going to have to fight the Cullens just to get a taste of your blood." He whispered.

I felt my muscles tighten as he said this. A low growl was building in my throat. "Leraunt, the Cullens have nothing to do with this. Leave them be." Bella said angrily. I have never seen her so defensive. She seemed so…unstoppable. I would believe her as a vampire if she was pale and dead. I mean, she's already beautiful and smart all she needs is immortality…But Edward wouldn't go for that. "Of course, Isabella. They'll be fine. But It's a shame that you wont. Have you said your good byes?" He asked.

Bella turned and looked back at us. I could see it all in her eyes as she looked at us each. Individually. But how she looked at Edward was completely different from the expression gave us. She looked at him like he was the only guy in the world she could ever love. I could see the hurt paying out in her brown eyes as she looked him in the eyes. But then she took a deep breath and looked back to Leraunt. Leraunt stepped closer to her and Edward lunged at him. Pinning him to the ground and ripping him limb from limb.

Emmett pulled out a lighter and started burning the arms and legs that were being thrown around Edward as he devoured them. Leraunt screamed and raged in agony as Edward pulled him apart.

After Emmett burned leraunt to ash and Jasper calmed Edward, Edward rose from the ground and whispered, "I'm fine."

"Not for long. Because when I'm done with you you won't be fine." Bella grumbled. Go Bella! Edward dropped his head and look like a child who was waiting for a lecture. Bella crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. Carlisle and Esme just stepped back and watched. Esme smiled to herself as she watched Bella take control for once. Carlisle chuckled at Edward as Emmett, japser, Rosalie and I joined him.

"What is your deal! I only did this so that you and your family weren't involved!" Bella yelled. Edward pulled his eyes up to hers and took it like a man. "You could have gotten yourself hurt!" She said as she wacked him in the arm. I tried to hide my laughter and Esme giggled. "He deserved it." I whispered.

"Are you trying to kill yourself. God, if you wanted away from me that much you could have just said so!" She was on a rampage now. That's when Edward frowned. He was only leaving again so that he could track down Victoria and stop her from getting closer to Bella. "Just forget it." She said in a calm voice and then walked away.

**Bella's point of view.**

**I climbed in my truck and tried not to cry as I drove away.**


	16. i'll see you in a month

**Hey guys**

**Heres another chapter!**

**I cried my eyes out writing this one!**

**I can't keep writing without your reviews!**

**I love you**

**I don't own twilight.**

**Bella's point of view.**

Edward looked at Alice and then at the floor. Alice quickly fled the room and shut the door behind her. It was silent for a good minute or two and then the worry was killing me. "Edward?" I tried. He looked up at me from under his long lashes and said, "I'm leaving, Bella." My heart stopped then. Not this again. I swallowed hard and tried to make my voice louder than a whisper. "You have _got_ to be kidding me. How long have you known?"

"A couple of days."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I was waiting for the right time."

"I can't believe this is happening _again_." My voice broke on the last word and the tears swelled in my eyes. I looked down and shook my head lightly. I _was_ stupid enough to fall for it again. How could you be so naïve, Bella? My thoughts were screaming at me. I tried to keep from hyperventilating but it was extremely hard. The only thing I _was_ able to do was cry. Great. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to calm down but how could I be calm when the love of my life was leaving me? For the second time!

"Bella-" he tried but I cut him off.

"No, Edward. I knew this wasn't going to work. No matter how much I wanted it to. We're just two different people and you want different things."

"What do you mean two different people and that I want different things, Bella?" He asked confused and slightly angry. I wiped away some of the tears and more fell "I mean, I'm never going to be good enough. And if you want someone else than you can. I'm not going to tie you down. You…deserve someone better…and that's not me. And you made that clear the first time you left… but I was stupid enough to fall for it again." My last words were no more than a whisper. I couldn't get up the courage to look at him.

I knew that if I looked into those deep topaz eyes, I would get lost and never find my way back. So instead of becoming dumb founded in his presence, I turned around and left. "Bella!" He called but I didn't stop walking. I wasn't going to let him tell me why he doesn't love me anymore or why he was running away from me. Before I could reach the front door, Alice was pressed against it. "Alice!" I complained. But she picked me up into her arms and ran me to her room. Within seconds everyone else was in the room with us.

"She should be crossing the line any minute now." Alice whispered as she stared into the air.

"Who? What is going on?" I asked. They all looked down at me with worried eyes. It was completely silent for two minutes straight and I would know seeing that I was now counting the seconds. Carlisle cleared his throat and looked at me unlike the others who were now looking at each other. "leraunt. He's planning an attack…on you." My heart stopped. Leraunt wanted me? Me?

And then it hit me. Why were they so worried? It's not like he's after them. It's me.

"Why are you all worried. It's me he wants. You have nothing to worry about." I tried. They were fine me on the other hand, well, I was preparing myself for death. I pulled myself from the bed and walked to the closed and locked bedroom door. They all stared me down as I unlocked it and rest my hand on the knob. "Bella, are you insane?" Edward nearly growled. I looked over my shoulder at them. They had their eyes wide and their mouths wide open.

"No. Just realizing that it's never going to end until she gets what she wants. And that's me." I whispered as I pulled the door open. "Bella, you can't be serious." Emmett said in a sad tone.

"I am." I said before pulling open the door and exiting the house.

**Alice's point of view.**

Bella just left the room and all Edward can do is watch her leave. I walked over to him and smacked is arm as hard as I could. I wished he could have felt that. He looked at me in confusion and I smacked his arm again. "Are you stupid! Don't just stand there! She's my sister you moron. I don't care what your deal is with girls but you're not going to let her die just because you're going after other girls! Idiot!" I yelled before running down the stairs. The rest followed behind me.

Emmett slung open the front door and bursted outside. We all froze when we saw the scene in front of us. Bella standing in front of Leraunt. Leraunt was licking his lips as he smelled the air around Bella. "Isabella, you smell oh so delightful." He murmured as he stepped closer to her. His hand ran down her back as the other pushed her hair from her neck as he pressed his nose against her skin and sniffed it. Edward, Carlisle, and Esme all growled at this. Bella cringed and Leraunt let go. "It's just a shame that I'm going to have to fight the Cullens just to get a taste of your blood." He whispered.

I felt my muscles tighten as he said this. A low growl was building in my throat. "Leraunt, the Cullens have nothing to do with this. Leave them be." Bella said angrily. I have never seen her so defensive. She seemed so…unstoppable. I would believe her as a vampire if she was pale and dead. I mean, she's already beautiful and smart all she needs is immortality…But Edward wouldn't go for that. "Of course, Isabella. They'll be fine. But It's a shame that you wont. Have you said your good byes?" He asked.

Bella turned and looked back at us. I could see it all in her eyes as she looked at us each. Individually. But how she looked at Edward was completely different from the expression gave us. She looked at him like he was the only guy in the world she could ever love. I could see the hurt paying out in her brown eyes as she looked him in the eyes. But then she took a deep breath and looked back to Leraunt. Leraunt stepped closer to her and Edward lunged at him. Pinning him to the ground and ripping him limb from limb.

Emmett pulled out a lighter and started burning the arms and legs that were being thrown around Edward as he devoured them. Leraunt screamed and raged in agony as Edward pulled him apart.

After Emmett burned leraunt to ash and Jasper calmed Edward, Edward rose from the ground and whispered, "I'm fine."

"Not for long. Because when I'm done with you you won't be fine." Bella grumbled. Go Bella! Edward dropped his head and look like a child who was waiting for a lecture. Bella crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. Carlisle and Esme just stepped back and watched. Esme smiled to herself as she watched Bella take control for once. Carlisle chuckled at Edward as Emmett, japser, Rosalie and I joined him.

"What is your deal! I only did this so that you and your family weren't involved!" Bella yelled. Edward pulled his eyes up to hers and took it like a man. "You could have gotten yourself hurt!" She said as she wacked him in the arm. I tried to hide my laughter and Esme giggled. "He deserved it." I whispered.

"Are you trying to kill yourself. God, if you wanted away from me that much you could have just said so!" She was on a rampage now. That's when Edward frowned. He was only leaving again so that he could track down Victoria and stop her from getting closer to Bella. "Just forget it." She said in a calm voice and then walked away.

**Bella's point of view.**

**I climbed in my truck and tried not to cry as I drove away.**


	17. He's BAAAAaaaack!

**Hey peoples.**

**Heres another chapter.**

**Review please. I can't write without reviews.**

**I don't own twilight!**

**Love you!**

**Bella's point of view.**

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked as she entered the gym locker room. Normally I would have already left to go home but I was unusually slow. Why? Because I didn't have anything in me that wanted me to hurry up. Nothing to make me feel excited for the end of the school day. Only one person could make me feel like that. And he had been gone for a month in a half. Edward was only supposed to be gone for a month but when he was getting to close to catching Victoria, he called Carlisle and informed him that he would be staying a little bit longer. He made sure that Alice told me how much he missed me and would be home soon but it was hard being away from him.

And what was even worse was wondering if he was okay or not. The last phone call was weeks ago and I didn't get to talk to him because I was at school when he called. I missed him so very much. And I wanted him back. Being apart reminded me of the months when he had left me. "I miss him. So much, Alice. I want him to come home." I whispered. She brushed her hand over my hair and kissed my cheek. "I have something to cheer you up. Get dressed." She demanded. I pulled on my jeans and blue blouse and pulled on my shoes.

"Alice if it's another shopping spree, I don't want to go." I informed her.

"Relax. I think you'll find this better than a shopping spree. Which is criminal." She said as she grabbed my bag and books and held them in one hand and grabbed my hand and held hers in the other. "Alice I can carry my own books." I said as I reached for them. She pulled back from me and smiled. "Trust me. Books can be a burden." I was a little shocked from her answer. She reached for my bag but I stopped her. "Alice, Let me at least carry my bag." I complained. She shrugged and got that devilish smile on her face. I grabbed my bag and she guided me to the gym door.

My eyes dropped to the ground, like every day. I just didn't see the point in looking at the world around me anymore. Once we were outside Alice said, "Why, I wonder who that could be?" My eyes flashed up and found her pointing to the spot where Rose had parked the M3 this morning. But instead of the convertible there was a silver Volvo. The Volvo had been locked up in the Cullen garage ever since Edward left. But the Volov wasn't what had my heart pumping. Once my eyes made contact with his glorious face, I dropped my bag. He was smiling widely at me and I forgot how to breath.

I didn't even think, I just ran to him. I ran and jumped on him. My legs wrapped around his waist and my arms locked around his neck. I knew better than to do something like this. He was a vampire and I apparently smelled to delicious but I didn't care if he killed me now. But instead of freezing up and not breathing like he normally did, he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"If this is how I'm going to be greeted home, I should go away more often." He said.

I smiled down at him. "No, you shouldn't. You should stay here." I said before kissing his neck.

"I like the sound of that."

He pressed his lips to mine and they melted together. It felt good to have him back. This kiss was passionate and alluring. It kept going on and on but I didn't care. He pulled away when he saw that I couldn't breathe and smiled down at me. "I've been away for too long." He murmured against the skin of my neck. I nodded in agreement with him.

He pulled me up so that I was thrown over his shoulder. "What's going on." I asked him. He chuckled lightly.

"Alice will take the truck home and _you_ are coming with me."

"And where are we going?" I asked as he sat me down in the passenger seat of the car.

"Somewhere that we haven't visited in a while." He said before kissing me nose and shutting the door.

HE drove with one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped around my waist pressing me into his side. My head rested on his shoulder and he would turn his face over to me and kiss my head occasionally or my neck.

**Sorry it's short.**

**But I have more chpters cooking so just wait a second and they should be up.**

**Review or no more chapters!**

**Jk. I'll still write the chapters but I do like hearing from you all.**

**It makes me feel a warm inside. Haha.**

**I love you all!**


	18. the meadowand tears?

**Here's another chapter.**

**It may be a little short because I can't write without reviews.**

**I love you all!**

**I don't own twilight.**

**Edward's point of view.**

One arm was wrapped around Bella and the other was steering the wheel. She had her head on my shoulder and her hand on my hand. I let the lilac and lavender scent enter my nose and fill my lungs. Oh how I missed her so much. It felt good to be home. A month and a half of knowing that she was in forks while I was running across the world searching for Victoria. The name made me tighten. "Edward, what's wrong?" her sweet voice murmured. She looked up at me with those big brown eyes that always made me melt. I relaxed under her gaze and answered. Her. "Victoria. I was gone for a month and a half . A month and a half when I could have been home with you and I still didn't catch her." I grumbled. Bella pressed her lips into my hand and rest her head on my shoulder once again. "It's going to be okay.' She said confidently. And I put all my trust in her words. "I don't deserve you." I whispered, feeling like such a jerk for not doing anything right. She needed to be protected and I couldn't even do that. "I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"nonsense. Bella, you are the most loving, forgiving, warm hearted…beautiful person I know. And I'm a monster."

"Edward Cullen. Don't you dare say that. There is no way you could ever be a monster."

I see she still doesn't care that I kill animals for food. But as long as she's in my life I couldn't care less.

I pulled into a parking spot and ran to her side of the car. I pulled her out into my arms and sat her down taking her hand. Her eyes searched in front of us. 'The meadow." she whispered to herself and smiled. This was a good reaction. If she knew what I had planned then she'd probably kill me. Literally. I stuck my hands in my pockets, trying to be oblivious, and encountered the soft velvet box. "What are you up to?" She asked once she saw my successful smile. "Nothing. I don't have a clue what you're talking about." I tried. Before she could say anything, I picked her up into my arms and ran. We were in the quiet meadow within seconds. "Good diversion." she muttered. I chuckled at her remark. "I do try."

"It hasn't changed at all. It's still as beautiful as ever.' she said as her eyes took in the forest that surrounded us. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her head. "But no beauty can be compare to yours." she blushed from my words and placed her head on my chest. I pulled us to the ground and laid into the warm grass. My fingers brushed through her soft brown hair as she rest beside me. We laid there for a while watching the sky darken. But then I remembered what I had in mind. I picked her up and sat her on her feet and looked her in the eyes. "Edward-" She started but I stopped her.

"Bella, I love you. You do know that right?"

"Yes. And I love you, too. Whats going on?"

"The answer one question for me."

"Okay…"

I slid down to rest on one knee. I took her hand in mine and looked up at her with my most convincing smile. Her eyes widened at my posture and her breath stopped. This was it. She would either say yes or no. And if she said no then I would be completely crushed but there was no chance that I would ever let her see that side of me. But if she said yes, then she would mine. Mine for all eternity. Even if I didn't want to ruin her life, I would give her what she wanted. Even if that meant killing her and making her like me. I grimaced internally at the thought.

"Bella, I've been away for too long. Months. I can't stand being away from you. It kills me to be away from you. To not be with the one I love and want the most. I promise to be all I can for you and then some. I promise to love you for all of eternity. Will you please marry me?" I asked after taking out the black velvet box. I opened the lid and she closed her eyes. Her breathing had increased and her eyes brows scrunched together. She was going to say no. I felt my dead heart crack in half.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you what was that?" I asked again. I looked up into her wide brown eyes which were filled with tears.

"Yes, Edward. I will marry you."

Happiness filled the crack in my heart as I placed mothers ring on her finger. I put my arms around her waist and hugged her close. I leaned down and kissed her. Her lips molding into mine. Her sweet scent filling my mouth. I pulled back when she was running out of ir and leaned my head agaist hers.

"For a second there, I thought you would say no. You almost gave me a heart attack."

She laughed quietly and more tears fell. I brushed them back kissed her neck once more.

**There it is!**

**Another chapter.**

**Don't worry, I have more chapters to come!**

**Sorry it's small but I am adding more chapters. I've just been a little busy lately but I promise to make more stories and chapters.**

**Review, review, review! I love you all**


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Fanfiction readers

Thank you so much for being patient with my upload new chapters to my stories. I'm sorry for tricking you by uploading this as a chapter instead of an actual chapter- again, sorry! Anywho, I have BIG news! My book, Destined: A Hereafter Novel By me: Danna Mackenzie Sims, is now available on As an E-BOOK! Please…PLEASE stop by and check it out. Thank you for your love and support! And look for new chapters to my story! I have free time to write my Twilight stories now! Below is my amazon link for my book. Follow me on Facebook or on twitter as dannamackenziesims

.com/Destined-Hereafter-Novel-Novels-ebook/dp/B005TD8MBM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318380538&sr=8-1

Love,

Twilightaddict2094 (Danna Mackenzie Sims)


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